(Photo by ITV2)
Hi guys, just thought I would preface this article with the fact that it talks a lot about the struggles and horrors of mental health, something that absolutely needs to be spoken about more often, particularly with men and those false narratives of needing to bottle emotions up and to stay strong. It’s a load of bollocks. It isn’t weak to need help and there are so many ways for people to get the support that they need. I am going to put some links to some further reading on mental health as well as some websites and numbers in case you feel like you need to talk to someone. You are never alone.
After Jacques emotional departure from the villa this week, a lot of debate and attention has been brought to his actions and behaviour throughout his stint in the villa. Whilst of course this is a reality tv show, it is incredibly important to remember that these are just people at the end of the day like you and I, and that their emotions are on display for the entire nation to see. We have had grim reminders of the power of people’s words online with the tragic suicides of Sophie Gradon, Mike Thalassitis, and Caroline Flack over the last few years, and in a social media supposed era of ‘be kind’, in reality people are more vicious and scathing than ever before with their quick and harsh opinions in the name of likes and retweets. Now whilst I enjoy the show, it has been made abundantly clear that the mental health support during and especially after the show for their contestants is insufficient, leaving a lot of people coming out of the show into barrages of attacks and attention due to situations on the show. Multiple contestants have spoken about the lack of support they received on the show and after, being thrust into situations that they have not been prepared for where people are scrutinising their actions in front of millions and millions of people.
Dealing with fame is not something those human beings are coded to do; it isn’t a natural instinct and thus why so many people over the decades have severely struggled in its wake. Using Jacques’ recent departure as an example, this young lad’s actions have been aired over the entire nation, with millions of people experiencing your emotional states in an environment that is designed to get the most out of them for viewing pleasure. It was very hard to see this man that recognises that he needs help away from the villa, breaking down in tears in front of everyone and exposing a vulnerable side that a lot of men will try desperately to hide away. There has been a lot of speculation that Jacques did not leave the show of his own accord, instead being asked to leave, but these sorts of rumours are going to do so much more harm than good, with waves and waves of attention being brought to his behaviour.
Ever since he stepped foot in the villa, he has had a turbulent time with his emotions, suggesting how he has never experienced the emotions that he has during his time on the show, scenarios that have put a huge stress on his coupling with Paige throughout. In a world where men are still expected to bottle up their emotions in order to hide away any signs of vulnerability, you could see Jacques being crippled under the weight of these expectations to the point where near the end he almost seemed paranoid and on edge all the time. One of the most poignant scenes was during the Paige, Jacques, and Jay triangle saga where Jacques spoke to Paige in the middle of the night, confessing his struggle with his emotions and even suggesting that he feels like he has to hide these emotions away; that it was supposedly weak for him to be displaying these emotions to Paige. This is still such a frightening concept, that men aren’t allowed to feel weak or vulnerable at all, these misconceptions are costing so many young men their lives and it hurts to see people struggling over how they are ‘supposed’ to act rather than how they truly feel.
All we can hope for now is that Jacques and any other islanders that feel like they need some help can get the adequate help and aftercare that they need. These sentiments seem to be echoed online, obviously the trolling comments will never cease to exist whilst anonymity behind a keyboard still exists. A couple of tweets I found said that they, "feel sorry for Jacques and I really hope ITV help him with the appropriate aftercare. His actions were bang out of order, but his mental health is clearly suffering and coming out to see all these nasty tweets will just have such a negative effect on him," with another writing: "Don’t forget. The producers make someone out to be the villain every year. Just for good TV. Jacques is a nice bloke suffering with mental health issues. We all need to support him. The producers of the show will never learn."
All I ask is for people to be more thoughtful and considerate of people’s circumstances. Whilst it is incredibly easy to attack someone online for their actions, we should just stop to think about the consequences of these actions and the impact it can have on people’s lives. This doesn’t just stop online, but in everyday life too. Everyone is fighting their own battles, just have a think. It really could save someone’s life.
All links and numbers were found on ‘mind.org.uk’
· Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).
· SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day).
· National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7).
· Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.
· Shout. If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258. Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help.
· The Mix. If you're under 25, you can call The Mix on 0808 808 4994(3pm–midnight every day), request support by email using this form on The Mix website or use their crisis text messenger service.
· Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (weekdays 10am-10pm, weekends 2pm-10pm and bank holidays 2pm–10pm), email pat@papyrus-uk.org or text 07786 209 697.
· Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.
· Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email chris@switchboard.lgbt or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.
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